"Attachment parenting is about listening to your “natural instincts as a mother and your instincts will NEVER fail you, just listen to them. Letting your child know you respect their desire to communicate (which is what crying most often is), that you understand they need something (perhaps just not to be alone) and that you are there for them is a fantastic gift to give them now and something to build on for their whole lives" (Lisa, mother of 1)
Attachment or natural parenting is based on the understanding that secure attachment in early childhood is essential for the development of mature, empathetic adults. Research from a range of fields, from neuroscience to psychology to genetics, now demonstrates that responding to children’s emotional as well as physical needs at each stage of development creates emotionally secure individuals.
"Attachment parenting [or natural parenting] is not just another phase or parenting trend, amongst an array of options. Attached parenting is what babies were born biologically expecting" (Sam, mother of 3).
It creates the physical and emotional setting that allows for a healthy attachment which is essential at a time when children’s brains are still growing.
"From late pregnancy through the second year of life, the human brain experiences a critical period of accelerated growth. Therefore the expanding brain is directly influenced by its environment. Stress impairs optimal brain development while healthy attachment promotes it"(Source). A healthy attachment "begins with being open to the cues of your baby/child, without fretting about spoiling them or being manipulated. …You help her feel right by setting the conditions that promote the best behavior. The child who feels right acts right" (Source).
Other expressions used to describe this approach are attachment parenting, aware parenting, instinctive parenting, conscious parenting/living and continuum parenting.
The main touchstones of Natural Parenting are:
emotional support for mother during pregnancy
gentle childbirth methods
home-birthing or ‘rooming-in' at hospital
on-demand breastfeeding & extended breastfeeding (or child-led weaning),
responsiveness to babies cries (no controlled crying/comforting or baby 'training')
co-sleeping (bed sharing)
baby-wearing (carrying babies, toddlers & preschoolers in a sling)
fathers/partners who attend childbirth and share in the nurturance through all stages of childhood
strong, rather than coercive or permissive boundary setting
empathetic listening and avoidance of punishment and rewards (Source)
Sydney Psychologist Robin Grille explains that natural parents have made a shift away from previous authoritarian parenting methods as "we are increasingly coming to believe that babies know when they are hungry, how much they need to consume, when they are tired, when they need to be held, and when they need engagement or attention. A baby’s cry, no longer thought to be capricious or meaningless, is warmly attended to without delay. It is the baby’s natural biological and emotional cycles, not the clock on the wall, that govern the ebb and flow of nurturance - and the carer is led by the baby’s cues" (Source).
Significantly, "natural parents have learned to distinguish more clearly between the child’s need and the adult’s wishes"(Source) and so do not strive for a 'good' baby who will breastfeed every 4 hours, fall sleep alone and sleep through the night. It is a challenge, however, to resist this ideal in a society that fears babies’ dependency and "warns against yielding to babies’ and toddlers’ need to be held and comforted to sleep [for example], lest they become habitually attached" (Source). We now know that responding faithfully and immediately to children’s needs fosters security. This "security creates independence" (Source).
For a fascinating look at a compelling analysis of how natural parenting approaches help create confident and emotionally mature adults see Parenting for a Peaceful World (2005) by Robin Grille.
Robin Grille's second book, Heart To Heart Parenting (2008) aims to help you create a deep and lasting relationship that is unique to you and your child. Using techniques that are based on connection rather than shaming, manipulation and punishment, Grille introduces you to insightful and practical ways to benefit your child's emotional well-being and social development (Source).